HALF an hour into this ludicrous game of football, Rasmus Hojlund was haring through on goal, looking to complete a hat-trick and propel Manchester United into a 3-0 lead.

Yet there is one thing we know for certain about Erik ten Hag’s team – they never, ever do things the easy way.

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Man Utd twice threw away a lead to leave their Champions League hopes in tatters

Hojlund scored a second

Hojlund kisses the United badge after grabbing his second

You honestly couldn’t make this stuff up.

Some hope – here we had two Copenhagen comebacks, two dodgy penalties, one sending-off, one pro-Palestinian pitch invader and one lengthy delay for a medical emergency.

And at the end of all the bedlam, United were bottom of this Champions League group, staring elimination in the face and knowing they must defeat either Galatasaray in Istanbul or Harry Kane’s rampant Bayern Munich to stand any chance of making the knock-out stage.

The Danish fans had promised ‘Welcome to the Theatre of Nightmares’ in a giant banner unfurled before kick-off.

And in a nation where Hans Christian Andersen used to write tall tales, few could have been as fanciful as this one.

Rasmus Hojlund opened the scoring for United 

The striker celebrates with his team-mates 

It started with Ten Hag restored Rashford to his starting line-up after an ‘unacceptable’ birthday party and a ‘minor knock’.

And before the sulphur clouds from the pre-match pyros had dispersed, United were in front thanks to a sweeping move the length and breadth of the field.

Bruno Fernandes played a Hollywood cross-field ball to Rashford, who fed Aaron Wan-Bissaka and the full-back played a cut angled pass for Scott McTominay to centre low for Hojlund to tuck home.

Soon, there were two delays to the game. The first occurred when someone entered the ground waving a Palestinian flag and was removed by officials.

After that, a fan near the midway line received medical attention from paramedics and was taken away on a stretcher while still appearing aware and “well in the circumstances.”

Raphael Varane took over for an injured Jonny Evans during that stoppage.

Denis Vavro, the center-half for Copenhagen, made an incredible mistake that let Alejandro Garnacho get free. Garnacho cut in and shot, but Kamil Grabara squandered the chance, allowing Hojlund to score.

The Danish center-forward for United could have scored his third goal in less than a minute, but Grabara brilliantly blocked his hard left-footed effort.

This appeared to be a unique and genuine Manchester United performance, but minutes later Rashford’s red card confirmed that nothing can ever go right for Ten Hag’s team.

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Marcus Rashford was shown red

Mohamed Elyounoussi pulled one back

The game was back on 

Rashford was turning, trying to shield the ball from Elias Jelert when he appeared to tread on his opponent’s ankle and also make contact with his elbow.

Lithuanian referee Donastas Rumsas was sent over to his monitor by his Polish VAR and an incredulous Rashford was walking.

Copenhagen were instantly lifted and swiftly halved the deficit.

Peter Ankersen centred, Diogo Goncalves volleyed a pass to former Southampton man Mohamed Elyanoussi, who fired past Andre Onana.

Diogo Goncalves levelled the game 

Copenhagen were back on level terms

Christian Eriksen was replaced by Sofyan Amrabat by Ten Hag, and halfway through the second half, United’s fortunes reversed.

A free kick was hammered into the area, and Maguire’s head struck Lukas Lerager’s outstretched arm.

After the VAR stopped play, Rumsas gave the spot kick, and Fernandes drove the ball into the net’s roof.

Bruno Fernandes put United back in front

Fernandes led the celebrations

But just as we readied ourselves to praise United’s resilience, Lerager made amends by beating a dozing Diogo Dalot to Rasmus Falk’s far-post cross and poking past Onana.

Then it got even worse for the visitors as Bardghji hammered a shot into the floor and inside the post.

There was something rotten in the state of Denmark and it was United’s defending.

Lukas Lerager put the game level again

Copenhagen turned the tie around again

Roony Bardghji scored a stunning winner

The late sub wheels off in jubilation

Harry Maguire was left head in hands